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This Spammer Is In Love

15 June 2009 No Comment

1197280351_01pAlthough February 14th is past and Spring as well, love is still possible, even for us underground spammers. Thus the reason for this post, I have found me a sexy woman or rather we found each other.  Now I won’t reveal to many details or show a picture, but I will say she is a beautiful and she can stand to be with me.  Now we met through a mutual friend as he wanted me to help her with some computer stuff and so I said yeah while getting all jumpy and excited that I was helping her out.  That was two years ago May 5, 2007.

Now, neither of us were expecting much happen because I was a complete stranger and the fact she was going through a rough time.  So we kept it professional and stuff like that and during that time she confiding in me a lot of personal stuff, especially her depression and family and things she was going through.  So, being the nice guy that I am I listen and used my e-shoulder and not my real shoulder, because of the fact we were an ocean apart.

Yes, many people scoff at the idea and some think its rather pathetic looking for love and all that stuff.  Especially when your using services such as eHarmony  or match.com because everything thinks its all about the sex and junk like that.  To be quite honest and truthful, that didn’t happen to us as we build our relationship out of trust, friendship, kindness and all that other stuff.  Of course, thats what made us close as I was dealing with my PTSD as it was kicking into high gear and she was going through problems of her own with her depression and lost of love ones.

However, what was real interesting as we soon discovered that our fighting was equally of powerful, and those fights would usually happen when one of us were depress or both of us were depressed.  Of course, we leave and not talk to each other for a few days and using a quote from Forest Gump, “We were like peas and carrots.”  Things would get back to normal and even though we never said sorry to each other, we both were thinking of it.

Of course, it was the week before Thanksgiving in 2007 that I actually told her that I loved her, she was happy and stuff but because of the situation and what were both were going through she didn’t acknowledge it like I thought I would.  Although the cat was let out of the bag,  most guys would have left and moved on, I on the other, I wanted to be more her friend and keep building on the friendship we already have.  Even though it was still in the back of my mind and I thought about it now and then and even slipping in those oh so sexy words, I bid time and wait to see what happen.

Even though we were the best of friends, she gave me a one hell of a sucker punch when she finally told me about her and our friend.  If I remember correctly they were already dating at the time and she waiting for the right moment to tell me.  Even though she thought I would get angry or even upset at the fact she was dating him because of how I felt, she was rather surprise, because of the fact that I thought they made a great couple.  Of course, I even mentioned that fact especially when she told me how jealous of me he was because of the time we spent together hanging out and what not.

Though she told me this a few times, my only response to that statement was “how could be jealous of me?”  Of course, she tried her best to explain his jealousy, she could never win that battle because in a way I was right to make that statement.  Even though some would considered it horrible or even mean to talk about what they do with there partners/boyfriends and other titles you want to think of.  She never once rubbed in that relationship in front of my face and I didn’t see that happen either, just because I was happy for them.

Even though they had there good times and great times, they also had their rough times, and she even let me know about those rough times as well.  Of course, being her friend I wanted to be her crying shoulder and giving her those hugs she so needed.  For me it hurt to see her in pain and it made me sad and although she never cried in front of me, I had a rare opportunity to hear her cry and that pain was so unbearable to me.

While our friendship was doing good and we had our rough spots, these two were on edge and because of the type of relationship they had and and interfering family they broke up and although it was rough for her and him, for some reason I took it harder.  As for the reasons why I took it so hard was the fact I saw potential in the relationship, but that would be summing it up as the other reasons are long gone.  However, my angry for what he did was just as bad and they both new that, hell she had a hard time trying to calm me down during that week, just because how of he ended that relationship.

Though it took a few weeks to even say anything to him outside of what happen we talk now and then as he is pretty busy working and junk.  Of course, it took even longer for her to heal from what happen and I was there every single day to help her through it.  Now as wanted to help her and hold her, and even throw in one of those comforting hugs to help her through it. Even though she would argue this point, I think because of how I was helping get through this, she was opening her heart me and slowly, oh so slowly falling for me.

Skip a few months later to around Junish, we started talking about being open or something to that sorts and she told me one of many of her secrets.  Of course, me being a fun guy as I am and like to joke around a lot, which makes her upset a lot of the times.  I wanted to be serious as I possible could, but because of the introduction before she told me, she was oh so angry at me because of what I said.  After many hours of convincing her to tell me, she finally told me her secret, now I new about the day, but didn’t know most of the activities that were happening at the time.

However, it was on that day, June 6, 2009 that she revealed her oh so wonderful feelings to me.  Of course, the first two times she told me that she loved me, my body was slow to react, but on that third I love you, send one of the best shivers down my body.  I think it hit my toes even, but either it was oh so good.  It has been 9 days since that joyous occasion, so far she has met most of my family and they approve of her, which is important or I would have a rough time with this.  Of course, I have met her family as well, with exception to the father figure which I will dread and dread and complain about til it happens and every time he wants to talk to me in private.

On the other hand, the one thing that hurts our relationship for the most part, is reality, granted we both understand it, doesn’t mean we have to like it.  So what do we do about this reality?  Simple live each day like we had since May of 2007.  Obviously we have talk about the future and that is why we hate the reality of our relationship, since compromise is a very big thing and we both understand that.  However, the one thing that will leap jump this relationship is our actually getting together.

Though she knows about my nervousness about the actual first meeting as well as other feelings, I knew I have to make that step, because if I don’t, I know I will regret not making that step.  So how should I end this?  I will end it by saying if you want to make a relationship like this happen, give it time and patience and lots of TLC.

I LOVE YOU!!

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